Thank You for calling the Government’s Depression Relief Hotline Please Hold

OH GOOD FREAKING GRIEF! Someone pass me a vomit bag

Stressed out by the economy? The U.S. government is offering an online emotional rescue kit.

The “Getting Through Tough Economic Times” guide at www.samhsa.gov/economy/ is meant to help people identify any serious health concerns related to financial worries, develop coping skills and find help, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration said on Tuesday.

And to help you little whiners out, they even provide some of the dreaded warning signs!

*Persistent sadness/crying

*Excessive anxiety

*Lack of sleep/constant fatigue

*Excessive irritability/anger

*Increased drinking

 

*Illicit drug use, including misuse of medications

Hmmm, they forgot a few warning signs that could really help some folks.

Voting for failed Democratic Party ideals disguised as “hope” or “change”

Voting for an empty suit that promises to heal every problem you ever had.

Voting to reject the ideals the made this nation prosperous in favor of ideals that have failed every time they are tried.

Voting for a skin color instead of the best candidate with the best principles.

Trusting Barney Frank, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, or Nancy Pelosi.

And the surest sign you need help is having Obamagasms in your legs. Just ask Chris Matthews

H/T Michelle Malkin

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