Duane Lester: We have a right to eat bacon!

I like his reasoning

The government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my rights. In other words, when something threatens or limits my rights, government is there to issue the limiter a Liam Neesom level throat chop.

And having established my right to bacon, Muslim deli owners have no right to deny me access to a delicious bacon sandwich just because their holy book tells them not to eat it.

They have no right to force their religious beliefs on me. The federal government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my right to bacon, and I think the best way to do this is for Congress to pass a law mandating all restaurants to serve bacon.

I have come to this conclusion using the logic displayed by liberals in the last few months. According to regulations handed down by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, Americans have a right to contraception, so all insurance providers must provide it without a copay. This means that any religious organization with religious objections to the use of contraception is mandated by force to violate their beliefs and comply with the law.

Apples and oranges, you say? I can’t compare a woman’s health care rights to my love of bacon.

Oh yes I can. See, rights are rights. There is no hierarchy. You don’t say, “Well, this right is more important than that right, so this right takes priority.”

Great post, go read it all