Here’s the thing. The internet isn’t broken, so stop trying to fix it, assholes!
Furthermore, if the net ever becomes broken, the very last people on Earth who should be entrusted with repairing it are employees of the federal fucking-government, and anyone who can’t understand the simple truth underlying that statement is too stupid to appreciate a high-speed connection in the first place.
By the way, how’s that Obamacare law working out for you?
Edward L. Daley