The key to being safe in your home?

Be armed, and sleep naked apparently

A Georgetown, Texas man said that he was awoken Wednesday night by a flashlight moving outside his bedroom door, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

He checked on his sleeping wife, grabbed his 9mm handgun and went to investigate — stark naked.

“I have a tattoo of the grim reaper, my hair is sticking up all crazy and I’m naked,” said the homeowner, who asked that his name be withheld for safety reasons. “I’m not sure if [the burglar] was more afraid of me or the gun.”

Upon seeing the homeowner, the burglar reportedly screamed, stammered, “I’m so sorry, sir,” and leapt headfirst through the first-floor window he had used to enter the home.

Pennsylvania Woman Posed As Doctor To Perform Medical Exams On Truckers

Woman Posed As Doctor To Carry Out Medicals On Men – Bizarre World News

A woman was arrested for posing as a doctor and carrying out physical exams on men in her own home.

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Investigators claim Joann Elizabeth Wingate, 56, advertised her services to truckers who needed to have updated physicals to keep up their commercial driver’s license.

Wingate examined one driver who spotted a sign she posted at a truck wash.

But he got suspicious after being told there was a problem with her forms.

The trucker told cops that “Dr. Wingate” performed a complete exam, and even had him provide her with a urine sample.

Wingate, of Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, was arrested on charges of forgery, fraud and identity theft. She is being held in lieu of $10,000 bail.

State Police officials report that Wingate, who charged $65 for an exam, displayed a bogus medical certificate that contained information corresponding with the license of Dr. Barbara Wingate, a Philadelphia-area psychiatrist.

The trucker told cops that “Dr. Wingate” picked him up in and old car and drove him to her “office.”

He thought it was odd the office was inside her home but ‘Dr. Wingate’ did “everything that a doctor would normally do during a physical.”

Investigators believe at least 16 drivers had physical exams conducted by the bogus doc this year.

During a search of Wingate’s home, police seized items used to conduct physical exams and urine tests and a large quantity of medical documents and advertising brochures.

They also found marijuana and narcotics paraphernalia in her home Wingate is scheduled for a July 16 preliminary hearing.

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Japanese Lawmaker Ryutaro Nonomura Loses His Mind During Press Conference (Video)

Japanese Lawmaker Has A Full-Blown Temper Tantrum During A Press Conference – Red Alert Politics

Well, that’s one way to liven up a press conference…

Japanese lawmaker, Ryutaro Nonomura, was the subject of an extremely dramatic discussion on Tuesday when he was asked to answer questions about his bizarre expense reports. Nonomura had visited a nearby hot springs 106 times last year on Japan’s dime, totaling about $30,000.

When Nonomura began to explain himself, things got a little weird. He broke down into hysterical crying, screaming, and table pounding.

“I finally became an assembly member… with the sole purpose of changing society,” Nonomura said between sobs. “I’m putting my life on the line!”

While we might find his antics comical (and a little bit sad), Japanese society places value on stoicism and control, especially when it comes to their politicians.

“Many people are starting to demand that he resign,” said Hideaki Asada, who is a member of Nonomura’s assembly office. “He is usually not that emotional.”

It mostly just sounds like someone needs a nap.

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Rep. Frank Lucas Is A Robot Body Double Claims ‘Human’ Primary Challenger Timothy Ray Murray

Oklahoma Congressman Is A Robot Body Double, Claims ‘Human’ Challenger – Washington Post

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The robot takeover has begun, at least according to Timothy Ray Murray, who lost the election for Oklahoma’s 3rd district (obtaining just 5.2 percent of the vote) to incumbent Frank Lucas (R). Murray is now planning to challenge the election results, on the grounds that his opponent has been replaced by a robot body double.

Murray’s Web site notes that “The election for U.S. House for Oklahoma’s 3rd District will be contested by the Candidate, Timothy Ray Murray. I will be stating that his votes are switched with Rep. Lucas votes, because it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike. Rep. Lucas’ look alike was depicted as sentenced on a white stage in southern Ukraine on or about Jan. 11, 2011.”

(Lucas told news channel KFOR that he had never in fact been to Ukraine. He also observed: “Many things have been said about me, said to me during course of my campaigns. This is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a body double or a robot.”)

Murray’s Web site goes on to reassure us that: “I, Timothy Ray Murray, am a human, born in Oklahoma, and obtained and continue to fully meet the requirements to serve as U.S. Representative when honored to so. I will never use a look alike…” This makes me wonder. “I’m definitely a human,” like “I am very suave and good at talking to people,” is the sort of statement that seems untrue the instant you say it.

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Denver EPA Email Instructs Staff Not To Defecate In The Hallways After Several Incidents Reported

EPA Appeals To Denver Workers Not To Poop In Hallway – KBTV

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Forget toxic waste dumps, the Environmental Protection Agency apparently has a more immediate cleanup problem in its own backyard: An employee defecating in the hallway.

GovernmentExecutive.com, the government’s business news daily and key website for federal managers and executives, reported Wednesday that the EPA management for Region 8 in Denver sent an e-mail earlier this month to staff pleading to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.

In the e-mail, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor noted “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote.

According to the e-mail, a consultant was brought in to address the problems.

That email says “the consultant advised us that this is very dangerous behavior as it includes property destruction and a disregard for the health and safety of others.”

The email goes on to say behavior that includes the destruction of property and disregard for human health is classified as attack-related behavior.

EPA spokesman Richard Mylott told Government Executive in a statement that the agency could not comment on “ongoing personnel matters.”

On Thursday morning, the EPA released the following statement:

Mental illness and destructive behavior in the workplace are serious issues that all large organizations must periodically face. EPA’s actions in response to incidents that occurred months ago have been deliberate and have focused on our responsibility to ensure a safe work environment for our employees. Our brief consultation with Dr. Nicoletti on this matter, a resource who regularly provides our office with training and expertise on workplace issues, reflects that responsibility.

It’s unclear who defecated in the hallway at the EPA, but 9NEWS Psychologist Dr. Max Wachtel says whoever it is might suffer from some sort of mental illness.

“It can be. It can a symptom of cognitive problems. It can be a symptom of psychosis, and it can be a symptom of substance abuse. Sometimes it’s just an extremely immature person,” Wachtel said.

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Bankrupt Michigan Building Fake City With Taxpayer Dollars In Order To Test Driverless Cars

Michigan Uses Taxpayer Money To Build Fake City – Daily Caller

The University of Michigan and Michigan’s Department of Transportation are working together to build a fake city with taxpayer money.

Why? To test driverless cars, of course.

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They will be creating a realistic scenario without other cars or real drivers to test the new technology before automated cars hit the pavement, according to inhabitat.

This 30-acre fake city will be at University of Michigan’s North Campus Research Complex and has been designed specifically for testing the automated cars. This faux city, called the Mobility Transformation Facility, will be operated by U-M’s Mobility Transformation Center (MTC), which, according to a statement from the University of Michigan, is a public/private partnership that “aims to change how people and goods move around.” U-M’s College of Engineering is a university member of that center and donated funding for the facility.

In addition to the College of Engineering donating funds, the MTC is partnering with the Michigan Department of Transportation, which provided $3 million to help build the facility, according to MTC’s website.

This city is designed like a typical city with intersections, traffic lights, sidewalks, benches and simulated buildings. There will also be some obstacles or “risks” involved, such as construction barriers and crosswalks.

“We will actually be writing code for the test facility,” assistant professor of computer science and engineering Edwin Olson said in the U-M statement. ”We’ll be able to trigger tricky traffic signal timings, or a pedestrian stepping into the intersection at just the wrong time, for example.”

In addition, according to the MTC’s website, the city will also include different kinds of road surfaces (concrete, brick, dirt, asphalt), vary the number of lanes in a road and have tunnels and traffic circles.

U-M’s statement says the test city will “model the kind of connected and automated mobility system that the [Mobility Transformation Center] aims to enable in Ann Arbor by 2021.” And the system could ”dramatically reduce crashes, ease traffic and reduce pollution and energy use.”

And Peter Sweatman, the director of both the Mobility Transformation Center and the U-M Transportation Research Institute, said that such a system would have cars that could communicate with other cars and the rest of the world, not working as autonomous “islands unto themselves.”

The first car to be tested in this fake city is an automated Ford Fusion hybrid. Michigan Engineering researchers are working with Ford to create sensors and mapping technology for the car.

And the testing that they’ll be doing can be changed for ever lap around the city, said Associate Professor of Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering Ryan Eustice in the same statement.

Eustice said, “That will give us a leg up on getting these vehicles mature and robust and safe.”

MTC said that the facility should be open by fall 2014.

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Twin Sisters Say Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Was Obsessive Peeping-Tom Stalker

Sicko! Twin Sisters Say Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Was Obsessive Peeping-Tom Stalker – Daily Caller

The father of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl creepily harassed a pair of twin sisters in Hailey, Idaho, for several months, according to police reports obtained by the Daily Mail.

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In 2011, long before Robert “Bob” Bergdahl began learning Pashto and Arabic or tweeted a Taliban spokesman, the bizarro bearded dad stalked Lacey and Allie Hillman, police documents say. He allegedly tried to steal a peek at one of the twins in the shower and even stole a little gnome from their garden.

For anyone who has a daughter – or is a daughter – the allegations are frightening.

The Hillman sisters told police that Bergdahl, a UPS deliveryman, harassed them for over four months. Bergdahl’s son was about two years into his Taliban captivity during this period. The elder Bergdahl was – and remains – married to Jani Bergdahl, the mother of Bowe Bergdahl.

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The twins said Bergdahl, 51, drove by their residence – apparently they lived together – several times each day.

On one occasion, the sisters claimed, he left an angry note charging that one of the then-twentysomething sisters was “two-timing” him.

Later, he allegedly left a note saying, “I am sorry for whatever I did.”

A few weeks later, the sisters told police, Bergdahl confronted Allie Hillman at her front door after her boyfriend had left her house. She told police Bergdahl knocked on the door and said, while laughing, “What are you two-timing me, bitch?” according to the Mail.

Another time, Bergdahl allegedly sneaked around the outside of the home for a few hours and approached the house as Lacey Hillman was taking a shower.

Lacey told local cops that she heard a noise and stepped out of the shower wearing just a towel. She walked to a glass door. There, she told police, she saw a “shadowed person.” It was Bergdahl, she said. He tried to get her to come closer to the door.

“According to Lacey, a minute passed while Robert shook his head on the other side of the closed door and he eventually left while throwing his hands up in the air,” the 2011 police report states.

It was after this voyeuristic episode that the sisters went to the police, saying they were “very scared,” reports the Mail.

The twins noted to police that they understood Bergdahl was likely suffering emotional stress since his son had been a prisoner of war for two years, but they said they wanted the stalking to stop.

The cops had a chat with Bergdahl, warning him to stay away from the twins’ residence and places of work. He agreed to these terms. The Hillman twins agreed not to press charges.

Bowe Bergdahl, a soldier in the U.S. army, was held captive by the Taliban-aligned Haqqani network in Afghanistan from June 2009 until his release in May 2014. The release was part of a five-for-one prisoner trade with the Taliban that the Obama administration secretly orchestrated.

The Bergdahl clan is expected to be reunited this weekend in San Antonio.

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