The Al Gore Church/Cult of Climate Change preaches that pretty much everything is caused by, or causes global warming these days, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, the inability of fish to smell, and apparently to hear, tsunamis, wildfires, beaches are all caused, or at least worsened by the much dreaded, feared, and largely concocted “climate change”. Likewise, the Cult of Gore preaches that everything causes this climate change. William Teach has done an excellent job of chronicling the fear mongering of the Cult of Gore. Here are a few of the things, according to the Gorists, that are dooming us, especially Chicago which will be turned into Baton Rouge soon if the climate change menace is not halted apparently. And really, what would be so bad if that happened? Chicago would actually get to see some quality SEC football instead of that Big Ten stuff. Anyway, here are some of the things causing our impending demise
Your DVR
Your cat, especially, I would suppose, if your cat uses your DVR
Your smart phone
Angry Birds
Your Ice Maker
Your kids, well actually anyone’s kids
People who are pro-life
Rivers!
Finally, I leave you with this Cult of Gore theory, drinking booze and or cooking will kill us all!
You said you wanted more hysteria, here you go
In the next decade, the effects of a rapidly warming climate could kill 5 million people—as many as live in Singapore or Finland. More than 99 percent of those deaths will likely occur in developing countries, and almost four-fifths are expected to happen in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa. There could be as many as a million climate-related deaths each year by 2030 if nations don’t significantly cut planet-warming emissions, according to a report released Friday.
That was your crystal ball moment. Now for your eating moment
But you might want to pause before blaming climate change on tomato-hauling tractors and methane-belching cattle: Your kitchen is the single greatest contributor to carbon dioxide emissions in the food chain. By some estimates, cooking accounts for 37 percent of the greenhouse gases generated in a potato’s life cycle, almost twice as much as shipping them to market.
OK, climate alarmists, time to stop cooking your food. Please take pictures of you eating only raw meals, and send them in….what, you refuse? Bad climate alarmists, no biscuit! Unshockingly, this Washington Post story doesn’t allow comments. Make sure you ask Brian Palmer, the writer, if he has stopped cooking at ask.the.lantern@gmail.com. Now your drinking moment
Murder in Detroit, overworked immigration judges, bruisers-for-hire on Indian reservations: If you’ve been reading Mother Jones lately, you’re probably ready for a stiff drink. Not so fast! In terms of greenhouse-gas emissions, US booze manufacturers release the annual equivalent of 1.9 million households. How’s that for a buzzkill? The good news is that you have choices. Here are a few tips for drowning your sorrows sustainably.
Well, great! I guess we are all pretty much f***ed, so I am going to go cook a steak, do a couple of shots, program my DVR, and then, my cat and I will just wait for the tornadoes, hurricanes, wildfires, tsunamis, or maybe those deaf and blind fish to kill us all!
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Tags: Activism, Al Gore, Chicago, Climate Change, Environment, Global warming, Mitt Romney, Organizations