Dumbass Couple Drives Stolen Car To Courthouse For Hearing On Drug Possession

Couple Drives Stolen Car To Court, Police Say – WKMG

A California couple has been arrested after driving a stolen car to a courthouse, police said.

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A car dealership in Redding, Calif., called police to report a missing car on Friday. The dealership told police the car’s GPS showed it was parked in front of a courthouse in Sonora, Calif., according to a press release from the Sonora Police Department.

Police officers found the car near the courthouse with different license plates on it. A woman who police identified as Teresa Castillo, 45, approached the car and told officers her husband had purchased the vehicle earlier that day for $200 so he could make a court appearance for a possession of a controlled substance charge, police said.

The woman’s husband, James Manning, 49, initially denied knowing the car was stolen, but later admitted it was a stolen vehicle, police said.

Manning and Castillo were arrested on suspicion of possession of stolen property and possession of a controlled substance.

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Dumbass Staged Burglary To Avoid Going To Work

Deputies: Brandon Man Staged Burglary To Avoid Going To Work – Bay News 9

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Deputies said a Brandon man staged a burglary so he could avoid having to go to work.

Dwayne A. Yeager, 31, is facing charges of providing false information to law enforcement.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to a home on Bridlewood Way Monday at 7:25 a.m. after Yeager called to report that he came home and found his house had been broken into.

“My door’s open, my windows to my son’s bedroom are wide open,” Yeager said in his call to the HCSO non-emergency line. “My TV’s in there on the ground.”

When a dispatcher asked if he saw anything suspicious or he had seen a vehicle driving away, he said, “On the corner, right when I pulled up, a white, kind of little Honda Civic pulling away. White, it had kind of like a black fender.”

Deputies said they noticed his front door was open and that the interior of the house appeared to be ransacked. They also saw the front bedroom window and blinds were open. However, they said they did not discover any signs of forced entry.

Deputies spoke to neighbors and learned that Yeager was seen leaving the house at 6:30 a.m., then returning home at 7:15 a.m. Deputies said Yeager was then seen walking in the front door, lifting the blinds and opening the front bedroom window.

Yeager then came back outside of his home, deputies said. He was seen standing in the front yard until deputies arrived. Deputies said the witness said there was no vehicle at Yeager’s house prior to his arrival or when Yeager returned home.

When Yeager was confronted with the discrepancies, deputies said he admitted to staging the home burglary to avoid having to go to work.

“He stated his wife was adamant that he go to work and he didn’t want to,” the report read.

Deputies said Yeager also told them he didn’t think he could go to jail for doing this. Yeager was arrested and taken to the Orient Road Jail without further incident.

Neighbors said they aren’t happy about the incident, as it meant they were woken up by deputies and K-9s early Monday morning.

“He asked me about the robbery,” said neighbor Doris Morell, who said a deputy knocked at her door and then left with a warning. “And he said make sure you check your windows, make sure your kids are safe and I was like, oh my gosh, you know.”

Morell said she can’t understand her neighbor’s actions.

“That’s just absolutely ridiculous,” Morell said. “I mean, who would do that? That’s just absurd.”

No one came to the door at Yeager’s home on Tuesday.

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*VIDEO* Dumbass Breaks Into Jewelry Store Only To Find He Can’t Break Out


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H/T The Right Scoop

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Dumbass Arrested After Trying To Convince Cop To Help Him Burglarize Pawn Shop

Man Charged With Bribery Of Law Enforcement Officer – WMBB

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The Panama City Police Department announces the arrest of Daniel Norona, 24 years of age, of Panama City. Norona is being charged with Bribery of a Law Enforcement Officer and Conspiracy to Commit Burglary.

He was arrested on the evening of January 14, 2014, at his residence. The arrest stems from an investigation launched after Norona offered to pay a Panama City Police officer to help him burglarize an area pawn business. At the time, the police officer was not acting in an undercover capacity and Norona was fully aware of his status as a police officer. Upon arrest, Norona was brought to the Panama City Police Department for questioning and then transported to the Bay County Jail. Today, Norona was seen by a local judge for first appearance.

This incident remains under investigation. If you have any information in reference to this case, please contact Sergeant Mike Brewer at the Panama City Police Department, 850-872-3100, or you can report your tips anonymously to CrimeStoppers at 850-785-TIPS.

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Dumbass Tries To Trade Live Gator For 12-Pack Of Beer (Video)

Florida Man Tries To Trade Gator For Beer – Washington Free Beacon

In a story that could only take place in wacky, weird Florida, a man attempted to trade a live, four-foot alligator for a 12-pack of beer at a Miami convenience store WSVN reports.

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Fernando Caignet Aguilera found the alligator at a nearby park, captured it, and took it to the store in hopes of bartering it for a 12-pack of beer. He brought the gator to the front of the store and tried to trade it. The clerk, naturally petrified, called authorities.

The gator’s story has a happy ending, though: he was found to be in good shape and will be released back into the wild.

Unfortunately for him, the gator thief has since been cited for taking possession of and trying to sell the alligator.

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Dumbass Felon Faces 142 Criminal Charges After Posting Incriminating Pictures Of Himself Online

When You’re Breaking Enough Laws To Result In 142 Charges, This Is The Last Thing You Do… Unless You’re This Guy – The Blaze

While a life of crime is certainly not the way to go, almost every criminal has to know that it’s a bad idea to post incriminating photos on social media while thoroughly breaking the law. It’s an especially bad idea for a criminal who, at any given moment, is breaking enough laws to result in 142 charges.

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Well, apparently Depree Johnson was never taught that lesson. It will not come as a surprise that he is currently incarcerated, and will likely stay behind bars for quite some time.

Police in Palm Beach County, Fla., reportedly suspected Johnson of organizing a number of “dinner time” burglaries in the Boynton Beach area, WPBF.com reports. Investigators got more than enough probable cause to go pick him up after he posted several incriminating “selfies” on Instagram.

Using the username “duce22ceritfied” (yes, “certified” is misspelled), Johnson posted several pictures of himself posing with guns, drugs and cash. He is a convicted felon, therefore not permitted to possess a firearm.

When police finally ended up at Johnson’s home in Lake Worth, Fla., they discovered “numerous pieces of jewelry,” including “watches, charms, necklaces and loose diamonds, as well as two stolen firearms.” In the end, investigators recovered about $250,000 worth of stuff.

Johnson reportedly faces 142 charges in total, including weapons and ammunition possession by a convicted felon.

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Dumbass Drops Banana Peel In Metro Station Elevator, Slips On It, Hurts Himself, Then Sues Transit Agency

It’s Hard To Convey How Hysterically Pathetic This Man’s Attempt To Get Away With A Crime Is, But The Video Speaks For Itself – The Blaze

Back in August, Maurice Owens claims he slipped on a banana peel as he was getting off the elevator at the Potomac Avenue Metro Station in Washington, D.C. The fall, he says, resulted in injuries to his hip and leg.

Naturally, the 42-year-old man sued the transit agency for $15,000 in damages, including $4,500 for chiropractor bills, the Washington Post reports.

Then the video from the surveillance camera in the elevator emerged. The footage proved Owens’ claims so completely false that he now faces criminal charges for fraud.

Just how damaging is the video to the man’s case? Watch via the Washington Post:

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Owens can be seen looking directly into the surveillance camera moments before a banana peel – which wasn’t on the floor when he got on the elevator – magically appears. He then looks directly into the camera one more time before exiting the elevator and “slipping” on the banana peel.

Owens then had the audacity to ask why a custodian had “not cleaned up the banana peel prior to his entering the elevator,” according to the police report.

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After reviewing the video, the claim against Metro was tossed and Owens was hit with second-degree fraud, a felony.

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Alleged Dumbass Charged With Running Over A Duck That Didn’t Want Her Candy

Charged With Running Over Duck Who Rejected Her Advances – Weekly Vice

Karie Lindgren, a 36-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Saturday after she allegedly killed a duck after the animal rejected her advances.

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According to police, Lindgren became angry when she tried to lure a duck towards her with a piece of candy, but the duck refused to come to her.

Witnesses say Lindgren “stalked the duck” in an attempt to win the animal’s favor, but the duck would have no part of her.

That’s when she allegedly got into a car, drove across a lawn at a high rate of speed, and struck the animal with her vehicle.

Officers who arrived on the scene found the dead duck laying in a driveway.

Lindgren was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged with animal cruelty. She was released after posting $5,000 bail.

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Dumbass Calls 911 To Complain That She Spent Too Much Money On Illegal Drugs

Woman Jailed After Calling 911 To Get Drug Money Back After Realizing That She Spent Too Much – Weekly Vice

Katrina Tisdale, a 47-year-old Florida woman, was jailed after she allegedly called 911 to get her drug money back after she realized that she had spent too much on marijuana and cocaine.

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According to St. Petersburg Police, Tisdale called 911 to complain that she had spent too much money on marijuana and cocaine and needed an officer’s help to get her money returned.

Investigators say Tisdale receives government disability benefits and the $50 she spent on drugs left her short on other items she needed to purchase.

She was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged with misuse of 911.

According to court records, Tisdale has been jailed almost a dozen times for cocaine possession over the past 7 years.

In 2011, she was arrested on similar charges when she lost $40 during a cocaine purchase. She was then charged with false report of a crime after she threatened to claim that she had been raped if officers didn’t get her money back for her.

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Naked Dumbass Attacks, Tasers Orlando Police Officers

Naked Man Attacks, Tasers Orlando Police Officers – News 13

A man is under arrest after police say he posted threats against police on his Facebook account and then attacked officers while naked when they went to his home to check on him.

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According to an arrest report, officers went to 42-year-old Joshua Patrick Hilt’s Phillips Street home to check on him after he posted threats on his Facebook page that he was going to kill cops and himself.

Officers had gone to home earlier in the evening to check on Hill and at the time, they said Hill did not meet the criteria for a Baker Act, which under Florida law allows for involuntary mental health examination of an individual.

Two officers then returned to Hilt’s home around 11:30 p.m. to check on him and as they were speaking with him, he got upset, started yelling and took off his clothes.

The arrest report says that one of the officers told Hilt he was under arrest and when the officer went to subdue him, Hilt grabbed the officer who in turn tackled Hilt to the ground.

While on the ground, Hilt and the officer punched each other and the officer deployed his Taser striking Hilt, police say. Investigators say Hilt then grabbed the Taser and used it on the officer. Another officer then got the Taser away from Hilt but was tased in the process.

Police then say that officer used pepper spray on Hilt to no avail and the officer used his baton, striking Hilt in his arms and legs.

Other officers arrived and were finally able to subdue Hilt and put him in handcuffs.

A total of four Orlando police officers were injured.

Two officers were treated at the scene by Orange County Fire Rescue. Two other officers were taken to Florida Hospital South for injuries. One officer was treated for head and arm injuries and the other was treated for an arm injury.

Hilt was also taken to Florida Hospital South where he was treated for minor injuries before being taken to the Orange County Jail.

Hilt has been charged with five counts of aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, three counts of depriving an officer’s means of protection/communication, five counts of resisting officer-interference with a law enforcement officer with violence, exposure of sexual organs, and indecent exposure.

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Dumbass Democrat Robin Kelly: Conceal And Carry Failed In Aurora Shooting’s Gun-Free Theater (Video)

Robin Kelly: Conceal And Carry Failed In Aurora Shooting’s Gun-Free Theater – Big Government

A Democrat running for Jesse Jackson Jr.’s seat in Congress attacked the idea of concealed-carry firearms by citing the victims of the Aurora theater shooting, who could not defend themselves in a gun-free zone.

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Robin Kelly, candidate in the IL-02 congressional election, claimed Thursday evening that victims of 2012′s Aurora, Colorado movie theater shooting failed to “pull out their guns to kill the gentleman that did all the damage that he did.”

Kelly, who faces Republican Paul McKinley in the April special election to replace Jackson, was speaking at her own one-person candidate forum, which she had convened rather than attend an NAACP-sponsored candidate debate with her opponent. Kelly made the controversial statement while arguing against conceal and carry rights for the residents of her district and the state of Illinois.

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She told the audience, “in the movie [theater], they have conceal and carry, but nobody pulled out their guns to kill the gentleman that did all the damage that he did.”

However, the Cinemark theater where the shooting took place was the only one within 20 minutes of suspect James Holmes’ apartment that had a policy banning guns from the premise. Victims and their families are preparing a lawsuit targeting Cinemark for allegedly failing to provide security for its patrons the night of the shooting.

Kelly prefaced her comments by telling the audience that the topic is “one thing I talk about,” implying that she regularly covers this angle in her arguments against personal defense rights.

Kelly began this line of thinking by lamenting that the Supreme Court has stated Illinois cannot ban conceal and carry. All 49 other states in the U.S. already have some form of conceal and carry on the books. “I’m hoping that we have the weakest conceal and carry,” she said in response.

Indeed, her opposition to conceal and carry is one of five pillars of an anti-gun pledge which serves as the banner of her official Facebook page. Kelly has openly campaigned on the promise that she “will lead on the issue of banning guns.”

After learning Kelly would not be at the Thursday night debate, her opponent McKinley told Breitbart News he attended a pro-Second Amendment rally with 150 2nd District constituents Thursday evening rather than attend a debate without his main opponent. McKinley released an explicitly pro-gun rights ad via YouTube on Tuesday:

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New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Independence USA PAC, which is strongly opposed to gun ownership and defense rights, has contributed over $2 million to Kelly’s campaign – starting in the Democratic primary where she faced Debbie Halvorson, a former Congresswoman with high marks from the NRA.

President Barack Obama endorsed Kelly on Tuesday. Obama is currently conducting a public relations campaign for expanded gun control legislation under discussion in the Senate. Kelly expressed support for the President’s desired legislation during her forum Thursday.

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Dumbass Jailed After Urinating On Officer’s Car During Traffic Stop (Video)

Dumbass Jailed After Urinating On Officer’s Car During Traffic Stop – Weekly Vice

Roger Alvin Henderson was jailed Monday after he allegedly urinated on a police cruiser during a traffic stop over window tint.

The officer was about to let Henderson go when he realized Henderson had already “gone.”

According to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office, Henderson was stopped by an officer around 4:00 p.m when the officer noticed Henderson’s window tint and suspected it was darker than state guidelines allow.

During the stop, the officer instructed Henderson to wait by his cruiser while he checked to see if the window tint was within compliance.

After a quick check, the officer determined that the tint was indeed within guidelines and stopped to apologize to Henderson’s mother for holding them up.

The officer then prepared to release Henderson, when he noticed a large puddle of urine that had accumulated near Henderson’s feet.

“Did you just pee on my car?” Asked the officer. “You just pissed on my car!”

Henderson looked around – in a Cheshire Cat sort of way – realizing that he’d been caught. Henderson later denied intentionally urinating on the officer’s patrol car.

He was booked into jail and charged with indecent exposure.

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Dumbass Gets DUI In Own Front Yard After Repeatedly Crashing Into Trees

Lake County Man Gets DUI In Own Front Yard – WKMG

A 57-year-old Lake County man was charged with driving under the influence after deputies say he was repeatedly backing his truck into trees in the front yard of his home.

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Lake County deputies said Dennis Jones, of Paisley, was trying to back out of his driveway Tuesday morning around 10 a.m. for at least 15 minutes. Neighbors called authorities after they said he smashed into trees, dug his truck into a hole and was spinning his tires in dirt close to his neighbor’s fence, according to the deputy report.

When deputies arrived, they said Jones had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath, was missing a lens in his eyeglasses and was slurring his words.

Jones told deputies he had “less than one pint of vodka” that morning, according to the report.

Jones failed field sobriety tests and was taken into custody, according to reports. He was given a breathalyzer test at 10:45 a.m. and deputies said he registered at .242. more than three times the legal limit.

He will appear in court on April 25.

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Dumbass In Batman Costume Arrested For Hanging From Wall Of Michigan Business

Dumbass In Batman Costume Arrested For Hanging From Wall Of Michigan Business – CBS News

A 31-year-old man dressed as the comic book Caped Crusader was arrested Wednesday in Petoskey after he was seen hanging from the top wall of a downtown business.

The Petoskey News-Review reports officers went up on the roof about 12:40 a.m. and pulled the 31-year-old man back onto the building.

Public Safety Director John Calabrese says he believes the man “enjoys doing this.”

Officers confiscated a baton-like weapon, a can of chemical irritant spray and lead-lined gloves.

The Harbor Springs man is awaiting arraignment on charges of trespassing and possession of a dangerous weapon. He’s being held in the Emmet County jail.

Petoskey is in Michigan’s northern Lower Peninsula, about 225 miles northwest of Detroit.

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Sledder, 62, Hurt When Improvised Rocket Blows Up – Yahoo News

A 62-year-old sledder looking for a burst of power got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body. Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe said the man, whose identity hasn’t been released, was hospitalized in stable condition Monday.

The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called “a rocket-launch effect.”

The device blew up as the man headed downhill, causing second-degree burns to his face and right side of his body and possible eye damage.

No charges have been filed against the man, whom McCabe said is known for doing “outrageous things” at his sledding parties.