Drunken Idiot Claiming To Be A Pterodactyl Invades Legoland; Gets Arrested

Drunken FL ‘Pterodactyl’ Man Hit With Felony For Splashing Deputy In Wild Legoland Pursuit – Raw Story

A Florida man claiming his name was “Pterodactyl” was charged last week in a wild chase through the Legoland theme park.

.

.
Sheriff’s deputies in Polk County said 36-year-old Richard Campagna led officers on a pursuit for about 30 minutes at the Winter Haven amusement park, reported The Ledger.

Security guards at Legoland said Camapgna appeared drunk and refused to leave, and he fled deputes into the park’s lazy river.

Campagna splashed some water on a deputy during the chase – so another deputy tried to use a Taser stun gun to subdue him.

Only one of the Taser’s probes stuck to Campagnia, who was still in the water, so the stun gun didn’t work.

A sheriff’s office spokeswoman said the electrical discharge from a Taser poses no risk to a person in water.

Several deputies finally corralled Campagna, who came to the park alone, and he squawked and told them his name was Pterodactyl.

He was not injured in the pursuit or the arrest, authorities said.

Campagna was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting officers without violence, and felony battery on a law enforcement officer for splashing water on the deputy.

.

.

Naked Idiot Arrested In Police Parking Lot

OPD: Naked Man In Police Parking Lot Charged With Indecent Exposure – Ocala StarBanner

A naked man was arrested late Wednesday when an officer reportedly found him after walking around the parking lot of the Ocala Police Department.

.
……….

Marcus Aaron Taylor, 28, was held on a charge of indecent exposure in public.

A police officer had stopped Taylor at 10:55 p.m. in the department parking lot, 402 S. Pine Ave. Officer Luis Camacho also responded and wrote the official report.

When Camacho asked Taylor why he was not wearing any clothing, Taylor said, “Because I committed a crime.”

Taylor added that the crime was “lewdness” and said he wanted the officer to take him to jail.

There appeared to be a bandage on Taylor’s head and Camacho asked him why it was there. Taylor said it was for “my tumor” and “don’t worry about it, just take me to jail,” according to the report.

Camacho asked Taylor where he had left his clothing, but Taylor refused to say.

Taylor was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail. He was scheduled to make his first appearance before a judge early Thursday via video link from the jail, but his paperwork was not completed, so the judge told Taylor he would see him on Friday.

There was no evidence of a bandage on Taylor’s head during the brief appearance, and no indication of an injury or recent medical procedure.

Taylor was placed on suicide watch at the jail.

Click HERE For Rest Of Story

.

Drunken Idiot Attempts To Rob Bank Using Underpants As A Mask

Drunk Attempts Bank Heist In Underpants Mask – The Local

At 10am last Friday, Daniel Anfray, 56, walked into a bank in Mortain, Normandy, with the intention of robbing the establishment and taking whatever cash he could get.

.

Despite it being breakfast-time, Anfray had evidently given himself some dutch courage in readiness for the heist..

Whether to shock staff at the bank, or to hide his identity from surveillance cameras, the pièce de la résistance of Anfray’s scheme was to wear a pair of men’s underpants over his face, according to local French daily La Manche Libre.

Despite this attempted subterfuge, Anfray was immediately recognized by a member of the bank’s staff.

Apparently well-used to his repeated shenanigans, the female teller calmly persuaded Anfray to drop the Opinel pocket knife he had been brandishing, and then called the police.

When tested, the would-be bank robber was found to have 2 mg of alcohol in his blood stream.

Appearing in court on Monday, Anfray, who had only just been released from prison for driving while intoxicated, immediately admitted to the badly-conceived stick-up.

He also confessed to stealing two bicycles on the previous two days, saying “I was completely lost when I got out of prison. I only wanted to go into town, but it got out of hand.”

For his part, Anfray’s lawyer presented to the court an image of a sad and lonely man. “My client needs someone to hold his hand,” he said.

“And prison needs to play its part by reintegrating him into society,” he added.

The court on Monday ordered that Anfray serve an eight-month prison sentence for his pocket knife and underpants antics, though four months were suspended.

Furthermore, Anfray must undergo alcohol withdrawal treatment and psychiatric care, and is forbidden from carrying a weapon or frequenting any establishment that sells alcohol.

Click HERE For Rest Of Story

.

Naked Idiot Tripping On Acid Tells Cops To Go Ahead And Cut Off His Penis

Naked UF Student Asks Cops To Cut His Penis Off (Oh, He Was On LSD) – Miami New Times

During a confrontation with police, 19-year-old University of Florida student Michael Silecchia begged the officers not to cut his penis off. Then he seemingly had an abrupt change of mind and started asking police to in fact go ahead and cut his manhood off.

.
…………………

We should probably mention that he was stark naked at the time and tripping on LSD.

According to The Florida Independent Alligator, Gainesville Police were called in the early hours of Saturday morning to a student apartment complex near campus. Silecchia was disturbing his neighbors by running through the halls.

When officers arrive the student decided to strip naked and also informed police that he was both “God” and “straight.”

He then asked police not to cut his penis off, before asking them to do so. When you’re already tripping your balls off, that sort of logic kind of makes sense.

Police tried to subdue Silecchia but he turned and struck a female officer in the head.

Eventually the student was Tasered six times, hand-cuffed, and taken to a university hospital. At the hospital he also allegedly spit in an employees face. After a three-day stay, he was booked into jail on charges of battery on an officer and resisting arrest.

Click HERE For Rest Of Story

.

A Country Run by Idiots

A Nod to A Nod to the Gods for this My favorite ones are these three, but go read them all

3. If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote, … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

4. If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

12. If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more safe according to the government,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

 

Drunken Idiot Busted After Calling 911, Asking Cops To Deliver Cigarettes To Her House

Texas Woman Arrested After Calling 911 For Cigarettes, Police Say – Fox News

Authorities in North Texas say a 48-year-old woman called 911 to have a deputy deliver cigarettes to her home.

Hood County sheriff’s Lt. Kathy Jividen says the woman, a Granbury resident, called 911 on Feb. 11 asking for the cigarettes. Jividen says the woman instead received a visit from two deputies and was arrested.

She was charged with a misdemeanor count of abuse of 911. She was later released from the Hood County jail on a $1,000 bond.

Jividen says the caller was “very intoxicated” when she dialed 911.

Granbury is about 65 miles southwest of Dallas.

Click HERE For Rest Of Story

Idiot Is Too Busy Beating His Girlfriend To Drive Properly, Crashes Into 8 Cars And A Light Pole

Idiot Is Too Busy Beating His Girlfriend To Drive Properly, Crashes Into 8 Cars And A Light Pole – Weekly Vice

Varance Hibbett, a 33-year-old Florida man was jailed after he allegedly crashed into numerous vehicles and a light pole while he was beating his girlfriend.

According to Brandon police, several witnesses saw Hibbett punch and grab the hair of a female passenger in the car he was driving down a busy road. A witness even heard Hibbett tell the woman he was going to “kill her” according to the arrest affidavit.

………………

During the assault, Hibbett hit struck two motorists, a light pole, and six vehicles parked at a local dealership. Officers estimate Hibbett caused more than $57,000 in damage during the incident.

Following the accident, Hibbett tried to flee the scene on foot, however he was apprehended a short time later. The victim, a 39-year-old woman, received several injuries to her face and mouth caused by the car accident.

Hibbett was booked into jail and charged with leaving the scene of an accident with injury, leaving the scene of an accident with property damage, resisting arrest without violence, battery, driving under the influence with property damage, and driving under the influence with injury.

Click HERE For Rest Of Story