Dysfunctional Family Syndrome

Why are some families so, how should I out this, screwed up? The Other McCain has a story about parents that shelled out tens of thousands of bucks, to send their only child, a 21-year-old girl to college. A daughter they have driven, or who drove herself to get a restraining order against them! Good grief!

The “helicopter parent” syndrome carried to an absurd extreme:

A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.
Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school’s musicals. . . . Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.
“They basically thought that [because] they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do, who to hang out with … basically control all of my daily life,” Ireland told ABC News.

Well, if they are shelling out that much cash… But, maybe the parents are a bit wacko, read this

The dean’s list student’s complaints against her parents began when she realized they’d installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey’s department head.
They also accused their daughter of promiscuity, doing drugs, and having mental issues to the point where they were considering going to court to order that she get treatment.

Look, I know what it is like to have a family member worry you with behavior, and I put some grey hair on my parents, a fact of which I am ashamed,  but monitoring software? There are serious trust issues here. Are they deserved?

“My mom has always been very overly involved,”Ireland said. “I would have to get on Skype all the time to show them that I was in my dorm room, or there werenights I had to leave my Skype on all night and my mom would watch me basically sleep.”
She claims her parents, David and Julie Ireland, have been diagnosed with co-dependency disorder. Her parents, however, say their daughter is just a good actor, and is lying. They said she is “an only child who has been catered to all her life.”

OK, sounds like her parents are NUTTY! Like a fruit cake nutty! Oh and by they way they are now demanding their money back!

 

Look, someone did a study and found out what they should have known to start with

Some studies are simply unneeded it seems to me. Take this study that Chris Wysocki is blogging about. It would seem rather obvious that kids raised in traditional homes, that is homes with a mother and a father would do better than kids, in other types of homes. 

Children who grow up in a stable household with a mother and a father generally turn out better than kids who don’t. Hardly a controversial statement, right?

Wrong. Because it challenges homosexual orthodoxy, and therefore it must be discredited. Never mind that the research is statistically sound and has been rigorously and objectively peer-reviewed. It’s anti-gay, and thus de facto evidence of a right-wing plot.

“I know children of gay parents and they’re perfectly well-adjusted!” seems to be a common refrain.(Obviously they’re not talking about the little boys Frank Lombard and his homosexual partner adopted though.) And I know the child of a lesbian couple who’s a total mess. Nevermind the heterosexual families which couldn’t be mistaken for The Brady Bunch.

So what. Anecdotes aren’t particularly relevent. And they’re not useful for promulgating public policy. Just because you can drive home after drinking two bottles of wine doesn’t necessarily mean everyone can.

As Chris notes, not EVERY child in a two-parent home will do well, some parents suck! And some kids raised by Gay parents, or single parents, or maybe even by wolves, will turn out great! There are exceptions to every rule. Well except for the rule that there are exceptions to every rule, there are no exceptions to that one. So, I suppose the saying out to go, there are exceptions to every rule but one, but I digress.

The fact is that nature, not me, nature provides a certain formula for the human species. Man + Woman=Kids and Family. And who am I, or you to argue with nature? Now, personally, I have no great issue with Gay marriage, sorry, I just don’t, it ought to be up to the individual states, with federal law protecting those states choices. Gay adoptions? Well, I think the FIRST choice ought to be a married couple, again, if you think that is not the best option, take it up with nature. But, kids need families, and love, and if a married couple is not found, I have no issue with a committed Gay couple adopting, or a single person who has the means adopting. I do draw the line at wolves however. Here is a little known, and even less discussed family secret. I have a cousin who was raised by wolves, she turned out OK, but still likes to howl and eat raw meat during full moons. The good news is she is a great watchdog though, so there are advantages.