This Christmas do NOT let this happen to you!

Sweater vests are bad enough, but the Christmas sweater? Dear Lord! Reaganite republican has photographic evidence!

 

Although, even the Christmas sweater rule has some exceptions, like this one which does not bother me for some reason

Bad Christmas sweater 14

 

My issues with sweater vests, and other things a man should never have anything to do with

Stacy McCain, has developed a serious man crush on Rick Santorum, who, as I have said previously, is a good guy, but too Socially Conservative for me. Sorry, but I have issues with any politician who thinks what goes on in our bedrooms is in ANY way the governments business. I detest social engineering, no matter what side of the aisle it originates from. I also cannot fathom Santorum’s support of taxing different businesses at different rates. And, Santorum is  a big fan or ear marks, which Stacy seems to be overlooking. Maybe he is too smitten with Santorum to think straight. But, this post is not about Santorum’s crush on social engineering, or Stacy McCain’s man crush on Santorum. Like I have said, the GOP nominee, yes even if it is Mitt or Newt will have my full support.

 

Slipover, sweater vest or tanktop

Image via Wikipedia

No, this post is NOT about which GOP candidate is the best qualified in my view, y’all know who that is. This post is about  things that irritate me greatly. First is sweater vests, and how I detest them no matter who wears them, unless it is a hot woman of course. It is some inherent dislike that I have always had for sweaters, and for the bastard child of the sweater, the sweater vest.I cannot really explain why I loathe sweater vests so. I just think they make the man wearing them look, well, wimpy, pretentious, and like  a douchebag. Of course there is no scientific evidence to support my suppositions, maybe because most scientists are snobby wimps who wear sweater vests. Of course, I have no proof of that either but, I am sticking with that story.

 

I suppose that sweater vests top my list on unmanly things. So, I figured I would take this chance to list the other things that, in my humble view, men ought NEVER do!

 

 

Drink wine! Especially white wines. trust me, Chardonnay is a gateway drug. Show me a guy who actually orders white wine at a bar, and I will show you a guy who not only wears sweater vests, but likely subscribes to Sweater Vests Monthly, or Cat Fancy.  I would even go so far as to guess such a man has pictures of cats IN sweater vests on his computer somewhere!

 

Drink Michelob Ultra, see above!

 

Another thing that ought to cost a man his man card is going to a sports bar to watch golf, especially during football season. Doubly troubling is the guys that go to the sports bar dressed like the golf players! You have seen these miscreants before. Sporting their Tiger Woods red polo, and of course their stupid Nike visor too. To top it off, they might even be wearing, you guessed it, a SWEATER VEST!! Come on guys, football fans do not wear cleats and shoulder pads to watch their teams play do they?

 

Another thing men, as a group ought never do is ask their server to split the check after a night out drinking and dining. Whats next fellas? Going to reach for your smart phone with the tip calculator app?

 

Also, NEVER ask for an ice water “with a lemon”. Do I really need to explain why?

 

Of course, I shouldn’t need to list vote for a Democrat should I? I mean face it, voting Democrat is the intellectual equal of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. Why not just get a sweater vest with the words “I want to pay higher taxes” on it?

December 2007 cover of Cat Fancy

Image via Wikipedia


 

A man should NEVER  take more than ten minutes to get ready to go out either. The only guy who takes longer than that is probably re-upping their subscription to Cat Fancy. Or perhaps they are pondering which sweater vest matches their shoes.

When dining out, order an ADULT burger. Honestly, what kind of guy gets a burger with just meat and cheese? I will tell you. The kind of guy who fears getting mustard on his sweater vest!

 

Tipping? Glad you asked. Nothing is more unseemly for a man to do than to be a poor tipper.  Especially the man that orders premium booze, insists on getting the tab, and offers to bu anything in a skirt a drink. If you drink big, then dammit tip big!

 

Enough for now, maybe I will do a post on things women should never do some time soon.