In Florida, what’s the punishment for having sex with a pet donkey? According to a Jan. 21 report by the Sun Sentinel, not much. Carlos Romero has been given one year probation with no jail time as well as a $200 fine after the 32-year-old was caught engaging in sexual activity with his miniature donkey named Doodle.
His neighbors probably won’t be able to see “Shrek” the same way again. After Romero abused the Democrats’ party mascot, his lawyer filed a motion asking a judge to declare the Florida statute banning sexual activities with animals unconstitutional.
That legal motion, like this man’s life, will obviously not go anywhere. Even libertarian champion Ron Paul would probably argue that’s way too much individual freedom. However, twelve months of probation sheds insight into the passivity with which the state’s judicial system treats those who sexually assault helpless animals. Earlier this week, Romero was back in police custody after Florida Northern Railroad employees said he may have stolen $10,880 worth of train batteries.
Donkeys had a more productive week in South America than their Democratic counterparts attending Barack Obama’s inauguration on Monday. On Jan. 21, three robbers from Colombia had to ditch their stolen property after a noisy donkey alerted police to the early morning theft.
According to the Telegraph, the criminals had stolen rum, oil, rice, cans of tuna and sardines from a small shop in the town of Juan de Acosta. They then attempted to load the goods on the donkey who made a lot of noise and objected to the robbers’ getaway plan.
At least there’s still a few who object to a redistribution agenda. In Washington, stealing property from others gets you re-elected.