Everything has a price, and yes, the hook up culture has had a price. It is costing us things like romance, love, real intimacy, and made dating, and being single much more difficult than it should be. It has cheapened, male/female relations, and twisted how we think about sex, traditional gender roles, marriage, and I believe has robbed us of a beautiful thing. Hey, as The Other McCain points out messing with nature has consequences and yes, quoting Jimmy Buffet helps prove the point
I really do appreciate the fact you’re sitting here.
Your voice sounds so wonderful,
But you face don’t look too clear.
So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round of brew.
Honey, why don’t we get drunk and screw?
Is this what they’re teaching in Women’s Studies classes nowadays? Evidently so, according to one young British feminist:
The idea that my generation are unhappy and sexually unfulfilled because, thanks to the dwindling of traditional gender roles, we’ve been able to have sex on our own terms, makes absolutely no sense to me. Especially as in Britain, we never really had a dating culture to begin with. Americans are complaining because “dinner and a movie” has been replaced with “hanging out”, when on this side of the Atlantic people have been flinging themselves at one another outside the pub following last orders since time immemorial, and it’s worked fine. Likewise, while the Americans see the classic “are u out?” fishing text as evidence of shallow promiscuity, we see it as a convenient way of minimising social embarrassment by ensuring both parties are too drunk to attempt a conversation capable of, let’s face it, shattering the illusion whose maintenance is so essential for successful coitus.
OK, so if getting “too drunk to attempt a conversation . . . is so essential for successful coitus,” how is this a triumph for women? Is this what being “able to have sex on our own terms” means?
Or does it mean, you’re getting played?
Making the bar/club/party scene your native habitat makes you a potential prey for the practicioners of “game.” And if he’s good at it, you won’t realize you’ve been played until it’s too late. Ladies, if want to know what the players really think of you, you should read their blogs:
What is a bar? It’s a social venue where women can receive attention from men at predictably constant rates. Every approach performed will increase her worth. Every hot stud who lays pipe inside her via a one-night stand will reinforce in her mind that she deserves Mr. Perfect. These men feed her ego like an IV bag nourishes a surgery patient.
The effect of all this is cumulative so that a 30 year old woman who is well past her prime will put out attitude multiple times higher than a hot 18 year old who just started going to clubs. Since the older woman simply can’t forget all those men who have approached her and wanted to take her home, she won’t receive your approach unless you’re nearly the best of what has attempted to f–k her in the past, even though the number of guys willing to wife her up has decreased exponentially. Nightlife venues give average women near unlimited choice and attention, causing a sharp degradation in her attitude, warmth, and even her appearance. . . .
More at the link. I am no Puritan, never will be. I am not condemning pre-marital sex either.What I am saying is that society has lowered its standards for women and their behavior. And that has resulted in too many women lowering their standards for themselves, both in who they date, and how they conduct themselves. And this really bad for men, and even worse for women. If you are happily married you might not notice, but, if like me, you are single, and dating, trust me you have noticed.