Hillary Clinton’s attempts to gain black voters have always been hilarious, but this one takes the cake.
The Democratic presidential candidates desperation became evident this week when she changed her Twitter avi to a Kwanzaa themed version of her campaign Hillary “H” logo.
The Democratic front-runner received waves of backlash across social media almost immediately, especially from the black community, who openly mocked her for her desperation in snatching their votes.
Hilarity ensued when the hashtag #NewHillaryLogo was born. Though her campaign sensed the backlash and changed her photo back to her original photo, the damage was already done.
When will Hillary learn that she isn’t black? Or cool?
H/T Right Scoop
Besides being untrustworthy and unlikable, Hillary Clinton’s biggest problem is convincing people that she is competent. On numerous occasions she has been asked to list her accomplishments and her answer is always: “Er, um, uh…” In a hilarious effort to show us that she can get the job done, she has published a list of her accomplishments, and let’s just say they are underwhelming.
Seven of Hillary Clinton’s biggest accomplishments showed up an Hillary’s website telling us:
Over her decades-long career in public service, Hillary has taken on her share of tough fights. Here are just a few of the biggest things she’s accomplished.
Just a few, eh? If this is what she wants to highlight, I shudder to think of what she’s holding back. Let’s see what monumental things she has accomplished:
1. Fought for children and families for 40 years and counting.
After law school, Hillary could have gone to work for a prestigious law firm, but took a job at the Children’s Defense Fund. She worked with teenagers incarcerated in adult prisons in South Carolina and families with disabled children in Massachusetts. It sparked a lifelong passion for helping children live up to their potential.
Fighting for something is not the same thing as accomplishing something. If she had done anything of substance here, she would have mentioned it. Instead, she just says it sparked a lifelong passion. That is not an accomplishment. The Beastie Boys fought for our right to party, but it doesn’t mean they secured that right.
2. Helped provide millions of children with health care.
As first lady of the United States, Hillary fought to help pass health care reform. When that effort failed, she didn’t give up: Hillary worked with Republicans and Democrats to help create the Children’s Health Insurance Program. CHIP cut the uninsured rate of American children by half, and today it provides health care to more than 8 million kids.
The State Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) was passed in 1997. Hillary Clinton had nothing to do with it other than she was in favor of it. Her husband Bill, who was President at the time, signed it into law. This particular “accomplishment” of Hillary’s is that she was married to a guy that signed something that was drafted and passed by other people. Also note that part of this ground-breaking effort includes her failure to do something.
3. Helped get 9/11 first responders the health care they needed.
When terrorists attacked just months after Hillary became U.S. senator from New York, she worked to make sure the 9/11 first responders who suffered lasting health effects from their time at Ground Zero got the care they needed.
Really? How did she do that? By voting for a bill that everyone voted for? She didn’t author or sponsor any legislation related to this as a Senator. How does that qualify as an accomplishment?
4. Told the world that “women’s rights are human rights.”
Standing in front of a U.N. conference and declaring that “women’s rights are human rights” was more controversial than it sounds today. Many within the U.S. government didn’t want Hillary to go to Beijing. Others wanted her to pick a less polarizing topic (you say polarizing, we say half the population). But Hillary was determined to speak out about human rights abuses, and her message became a rallying cry for a generation.
Much like fighting for something is not an accomplishment, neither is telling people something. Could you imagine if someone put something this sad on his or her résumé? You don’t list things you’ve said to other people; you put down things that you’ve actually done.
5. Stood up for LGBT rights at home and abroad.
As secretary of state, Hillary made LGBT rights a focus of U.S. foreign policy. She lobbied for the first-ever U.N. Human Rights Council resolution on human rights and declared that “gay rights are human rights.” And here at home, she made the State Department a better, fairer place for LGBT employees to work.
Except that she was against LGBT rights until a couple of years ago. Also, standing up for stuff is not an accomplishment in the same way that fighting for stuff and telling people stuff isn’t.
6. Helped expand health care and family leave for military families.
Hillary worked across the aisle to expand health care access for members of the National Guard and reservists – making sure those who served and their families had access to health care when they returned home. And she worked to expand the Family Medical Leave Act, allowing families of those wounded in service to their country to take leave in order to care for their loved ones.
Again, she voted for a popular bill that she didn’t draft or sponsor. She was a US Senator. They’re supposed to vote for things.
7. Negotiated a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas.
As our nation’s chief diplomat, Hillary didn’t back down when the stakes were high. As Hamas rockets rained down on Israel, Hillary went to the region immediately. Twenty-four hours after she landed, a ceasefire went into effect – and that year became Israel’s quietest in a decade.
Yeah? How’s that cease-fire working out?
Well, that’s it. In almost 25 years in public service, Hillary Clinton has voted for 2 bills that she had nothing to do with crafting. That’s as pathetic of a list as you will find. How is it even possible for someone to be First Lady, a US Senator, and Secretary of State and have next to nothing to show for it? It’s like she’s gone out of her way to do nothing in all of her years. I guess that’s kind of an accomplishment. Nobody has done less than Hillary.
A 22-year-old self-medicating with pot self-reported to the police after he lost feeling in his limbs, cops say.
Police arrived to the home in Austintown, Texas and they could hear “groaning” from inside the man’s room. They discovered him in the “fetal position”surrounded by “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies,” Fox 2 reports.
The man told police he couldn’t feel his hands because he smoked so much weed.
“A glass pipe with marijuana residue, two packs of rolling papers, two roaches and a glass jar of marijuana were recovered from the man’s car after he gave the keys to police,” according to The Vindicator.
Police released the man’s 911 call:
OPERATOR: 911, what’s your emergency?
CALLER: Hi – I need help.
OPERATOR: And what’s the problem?
CALLER: I’m too high.
OPERATOR: You’re too high?
OPERATOR: What’d you take?
CALLER: I can’t feel anything.
OPERATOR: You’re what?CALLER: I can’t feel anything.
OPERATOR: OK – what did you take?
OPERATOR: OK – what’s your name? Is there anyone there with you?
CALLER: Yeah, they don’t know.
So far, police haven’t charged him with any crime.
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