On This, The Occasion Of My 52nd Birth Anniversary…

I have decided to dedicate this date to my dearly departed mother, Leona Georgia Daley, who was far more committed to my entrance into this world than I.

Thanks, mom. You were the best!

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Furthermore, I would like to mention that I am what astrologers call an “Aquarian” – or one who is born under the sign of the Zodiac known as Aquarius – and while I don’t espouse the beliefs of those who consider people to be predictable in any psychological, emotional, or spiritual respect based upon the time of the year in which they were born, I thought it might be fun to look up some of the more noteworthy people throughout history who’ve shared my distinction in this regard.

And so I have.

FAMOUS AQUARIANS:
King Charles V – January 21, 1338
King Henry VII – January 28, 1457
Queen Mary I – February 18, 1516
Francis Drake – January 27, 1540
Walter Raleigh – January 22, 1552
Benjamin Tallmadge – February 11, 1754
Francis Bacon – January 22, 1561
Galileo Galilei – February 15, 1564
William Kidd – January 22, 1645
Cotton Mather – February 12, 1663
King Louis XV – February 15, 1710
Frederick The Great – January 24, 1712
Thomas Paine – January 29, 1736
John Hancock – January 23, 1737
Ethan Allen – January 21, 1738
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – January 27, 1756
Aaron Burr – February 6, 1756
Robert Burns – January 25, 1759
William Henry Harrison – February 9, 1773
Lord Byron – January 22, 1788
Franz Schubert – January 31, 1797
John Deere – February 7, 1804
Abraham Lincoln – February 12, 1809
Charles Darwin – February 12, 1809
Charles Dickens – February 7, 1812
John Fremont – January 21, 1813
Frederick Douglass – February 14, 1818
Harriet Tubman – January 29, 1820
William Tecumseh Sherman – February 8, 1820
Susan B. Anthony – February 15, 1820
Stonewall Jackson – January 21, 1824
Jules Verne – February 8, 1828
Edouard Manet – January 23, 1832
Lewis Carroll – January 27, 1832
J. E. B. Stuart – February 6, 1833
William McKinley – January 29, 1843
Thomas Edison – February 11, 1847
Belle Starr – February 5, 1848
John Browning – January 23, 1855
Anton Chekhov – January 29, 1860
Robert Ford – January 31, 1862
Laura Ingalls Wilder – February 7, 1867
Zane Grey – January 31, 1872
John D. Rockefeller Jr. – January 29, 1874
Gertrude Stein – February 3, 1874
Ernest Shackleton – February 15, 1874
D.W. Griffith – January 22, 1875
Douglas MacArthur – January 26, 1880
Alfred Adler – February 7, 1880
Virginia Woolf – January 25, 1882
Franklin Delano Roosevelt – January 30, 1882
James Joyce – February 2, 1882
John Barrymore – February 15, 1882
Sinclair Lewis – February 7, 1885
Frank Nitti – January 27, 1886
Frank Costello – January 26, 1891
Jimmy Durante – February 10, 1893
Omar Bradley – February 12, 1893
John Ford – February 1, 1894
Norman Rockwell – February 3, 1894
Jack Benny – February 14, 1894
George Halas – February 2, 1895
Babe Ruth – February 6, 1895
George Burns – January 20, 1896
Enzo Ferrari – February 18, 1898
Clark Gable – February 1, 1901
Langston Hughes – February 1, 1902
Charles Lindbergh – February 4, 1902
Prettyboy Floyd – February 3, 1904
Ayn Rand – February 2, 1905
Aristotle Onassis – January 20, 1906
James Michener – February 3, 1907
Max Baer – February 11, 1909
William Shockley – February 13, 1910
Ronald Reagan – February 6, 1911
Jackson Pollock – January 28, 1912
Rosa Parks – February 4, 1913
Mary Leakey – February 6, 1913
Woody Hayes – February 14, 1913
William Burroughs – February 5, 1914
Gypsy Rose Lee – February 9, 1914
Ernest Borgnine – January 24, 1917
Zsa Zsa Gabor – February 6, 1917
Oral Roberts – January 24, 1918
Joey Bishop – February 3, 1918
Jackie Robinson – January 31, 1919
Red Buttons – February 5, 1919
Tennessee Ernie Ford – February 13, 1919
Federico Fellini – January 20, 1920
Hal Moore – February 13, 1922
Chuck Yeager – February 13, 1923
Paul Newman – January 26, 1925
Joe Garagiola – February 12, 1926
Meyer Guggenheim – February 1, 1828
Jerry Goldsmith – February 10, 1929
Buzz Aldrin – January 20, 1930
Ernie Banks – January 31, 1931
James Dean – February 8, 1931
Hank Aaron – February 5, 1934
Bill Russell – February 12, 1934
Bob Uecker – January 26, 1935
Burt Reynolds – February 11, 1936
Jim Brown – February 17, 1936
Boris Spassky – January 30, 1937
Ray Stevens – January 24, 1939
Ray Manzarek – February 12, 1939
Jack Nicklaus – January 21, 1940
Fran Tarkenton – February 3, 1940
George Romero – February 4, 1940
Tom Brokaw – February 6, 1940
Ted Koppel – February 8, 1940
Dick Cheney – January 30, 1941
Steve Wynn – January 27, 1942
Terry Jones – February 1, 1942
Roger Staubach – February 5, 1942
Carole King – February 9, 1942
Michael Mann – February 5, 1943
Joe Pesci – February 9, 1943
Jerry Springer – February 13, 1944
Tom Selleck – January 29, 1945
Bob Griese – February 3, 1945
David Lynch – January 20, 1946
Warren Zevon – January 24, 1947
Nolan Ryan – January 31, 1947
Farrah Fawcett – February 2, 1947
Dave Davies – February 3, 1947
Mikhail Baryshnikov – January 27, 1948
Alice Cooper – February 4, 1948
Steve Perry – January 22, 1949
John Belushi – January 24, 1949
Gary Ridgway – February 18, 1949
Mark Spitz – February 10, 1950
John Hughes – February 18, 1950
Phil Collins – January 30, 1951
Carter Ham – February 16, 1952
Paul Allen – January 21, 1953
Oprah Winfrey – January 29, 1954
Matt Groening – February 15, 1954
John Travolta – February 18, 1954
Eddie Van Halen – January 26, 1955
John Roberts – January 27, 1955
John Grisham – February 8, 1955
Greg Norman – February 10, 1955
Ellen DeGeneres – January 26, 1958
Lawrence Taylor – February 4, 1959
John McEnroe – February 16, 1959
Jim Kelly – February 14, 1960
Wayne Gretzky – January 26, 1961
Garth Brooks – February 7, 1962
Hakeem Olajuwon – January 21, 1963
Travis Tritt – February 9, 1963
Michael Jordan – February 17, 1963
Glenn Beck – February 10, 1964
Sarah Palin – February 11, 1964
Mary Lou Retton – January 24, 1968
Andrew Breitbart – February 1, 1969
Jennifer Aniston – February 11, 1969
Alonzo Mourning – February 8, 1970
Michael C. Hall – February 1, 1971
Jerome Bettis – February 16, 1972
Oscar De La Hoya – February 4, 1973
Christian Bale – January 30, 1974
Elizabeth Banks – February 10, 1974
Charlie Day – February 9, 1976
Elijah Wood – January 28, 1981
Robert Griffin III – February 12, 1990

Holy crap! Now, those are some pretty impressive individuals right there. I’ll tell you what, even though I’ve never believed in astrology, I have to admit that some of the folks listed above do remind me of… well… me!

Anyway, I’m just happy to have made it this far without being stuffed into a box and buried beneath the cold, silent ground, and if God hasn’t decided to block my text messages entirely, I just might last another decade or two above it.

This is your birthday boy saying: may peace and prosperity follow you to the grave and beyond.

Later, peeps.

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*VIDEO* Eric (The Duck) Holder


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Ed Thinks Up A Way To Improve The NFL Post-Season – A JV Super Bowl


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Although I have essentially boycotted the NFL this season – due to the fact that it has become a politically correct nightmare in recent years – I am hopeful that one day the people who run it will regain their senses and begin acting like real men again. Should that happen, I have devised a little scheme that I believe could help to enhance the professional football fan’s post-season experience.

First of all, get rid of the Pro Bowl altogether. It is, and has always been, a completely pointless game that people only watch out of sheer boredom, so just END IT already!

Secondly, replace it with a game between two actual NFL teams – not a one-time collection of individual super stars – that can be incentivized to play the game as if it wasn’t some sort of half-assed practice scrimmage.

Here’s how my plan works:

Take the two best, non-playoff teams from both the AFC and NFC respectively – four teams total – and pit them against each other in two initial “bowl games” during the post-season.

Example: this year’s contestants would be the Houston Texans, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Philadelphia Eagles, and the San Francisco 49ers.

The AFC’s bowl game could be named for the best coach that the conference has ever produced, Chuck Noll, while the NFC’s could be named for its greatest coach, Vince Lombardi.

The winners of these two games would then play each other in a sort of JV version of the Super Bowl. It could be named after the place where America’s first wholly professional football game was played, Latrobe, Pennsylvania.

So how would this work exactly?

Well, the first two games could be played on the Monday and Tuesday nights immediately following the league’s divisional playoff games.

The “Latrobe Bowl” could be played two weeks later on the Sunday between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.

The incetives to win this game could be A.) player bonuses equal to – say – half those of the Super Bowl champions, and B.) an additional first round pick in the following college draft for the team’s general manager. Oh, and C.) the coach could get a nice trophy for his display case.

The losers could get free bus tickets home… and maybe some Arby’s gift certificates.

And that’s it! That’s my brief outline for improving the NFL post-season picture.

Feel free to express your own thoughts on this subject in the comments section below.

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The Future Must Not Belong To Those Who Slander Everyone But The Prophet Of Islam – Edward L. Daley


On September 25th, 2012 President Barack Obama delivered a speech to the United Nations General Assembly in which he stated: “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”

He said this in the wake of the infamous terrorist attack against the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya on the 11th anniversary of 9/11. The attack was a well-planned, well-coordinated, military-style assault which led to the slaughter of four of his fellow citizens, yet despite the fact that Obama had real-time intelligence exposing the reality of the situation, he chose to adopt the false narrative that the attacks were the result of a spontaneous protest against an obscure, anti-Islamic video.

As is all too common these days, leftists like President Obama not only refuse to admit that the responsibility for such atrocities lies squarely at the feet of the Muslim extremists who commit them, but they inevitably end up blaming innocent people who have the audacity to practice their God-given right to free speech and expression.

I cannot think of a more anti-American and, frankly, suicidally stupid position to take in the face of so pernicious a threat as radical Islam, yet to this day the left persists in repeating the unconscionable fairytale that Islam is a religion of peace, and that if only people like you and I would keep our big mouths shut about it, those who murder in the name of Allah would be perfectly happy to live and let live.

What a crock of excrement!

In the first place, even if what leftists believe turned out to be true – which is beyond ridiculous – what self-respecting human being would ever go along with such a strategy? Think about it, according to these clowns all you have to do to avoid being gunned down or blown to pieces by a pack of psychopathic true believers is to never speak your mind about the religious doctrine that fuels their murderous impulses. Great! Can I get a side order of swastikas with that?

Tell me, what kind of leader steps onto the world stage only weeks after his fellow countrymen have been brutally killed by Islamic thugs and insinuates that insulting the religion embraced by those very thugs is somehow worse than the act of terror they just committed? I’ll tell you what kind of leader, the exact same kind who refuses to use the words ‘Islamic terrorists’ to describe the perpetrators of the latest act of Muslim mass murder visited upon the staff of a satirical publication called Charlie Hebdo in Paris, France.

Indeed, Barack Obama is the kind of leader who, after more than five years, still refers to the religiously-motivated massacre of American soldiers at Fort Hood, Texas by a Muslim traitor in their midst as “workplace violence”.

Remember, this is the same guy who once insulted the entire Christian world by cherry-picking “controversial” verses from the Bible – which I’ve never heard him refer to as holy, unlike the Koran – just so he could bash conservative Americans who believe that the Judeo-Christian ethic is foundational to our culture and laws. The following year he referred to the Islamic call to prayer as “one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset,” which I’m sure is something any faithful Christian man would say while being interviewed by the New York Times about his spiritual beliefs.

I could go on and on with similar examples of the president’s religious proclivities, but I think my point has been sufficiently made.

Whether Barack Obama is a Muslim in Christian clothes or merely a faithless, pandering jerk matters little. All that matters is that he and his leftist ilk would rather make excuses for the inexcusable acts of Islamo-Nazis than stand up for one of the most profoundly American principles ever conceived; that we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights, among them being the right – with rare and obvious exceptions – to say whatever the hell we want to, whenever the hell we feel like it.

That is something people cannot do in the Muslim world today, and if the extremists thereof get their way, none of us will be able to speak our minds anywhere on Earth in the future.

By Edward L. Daley

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