Although I have essentially boycotted the NFL this season – due to the fact that it has become a politically correct nightmare in recent years – I am hopeful that one day the people who run it will regain their senses and begin acting like real men again. Should that happen, I have devised a little scheme that I believe could help to enhance the professional football fan’s post-season experience.
First of all, get rid of the Pro Bowl altogether. It is, and has always been, a completely pointless game that people only watch out of sheer boredom, so just END IT already!
Secondly, replace it with a game between two actual NFL teams – not a one-time collection of individual super stars – that can be incentivized to play the game as if it wasn’t some sort of half-assed practice scrimmage.
Here’s how my plan works:
Take the two best, non-playoff teams from both the AFC and NFC respectively – four teams total – and pit them against each other in two initial “bowl games” during the post-season.
Example: this year’s contestants would be the Houston Texans, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Philadelphia Eagles, and the San Francisco 49ers.
The AFC’s bowl game could be named for the best coach that the conference has ever produced, Chuck Noll, while the NFC’s could be named for its greatest coach, Vince Lombardi.
The winners of these two games would then play each other in a sort of JV version of the Super Bowl. It could be named after the place where America’s first wholly professional football game was played, Latrobe, Pennsylvania.
So how would this work exactly?
Well, the first two games could be played on the Monday and Tuesday nights immediately following the league’s divisional playoff games.
The “Latrobe Bowl” could be played two weeks later on the Sunday between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.
The incetives to win this game could be A.) player bonuses equal to – say – half those of the Super Bowl champions, and B.) an additional first round pick in the following college draft for the team’s general manager. Oh, and C.) the coach could get a nice trophy for his display case.
The losers could get free bus tickets home… and maybe some Arby’s gift certificates.
And that’s it! That’s my brief outline for improving the NFL post-season picture.
Feel free to express your own thoughts on this subject in the comments section below.